Saturday, April 25, 2009
Facts about animals I only remember when I'm drunk
Some ribbon worms will eat themselves if they can't find any food.
Friday, April 24, 2009
Love isn't always on time
I have Fridays off. Most people would think this is a good thing, but, for me, it sort of sucks because I could be making money. This economy stinks. I remember a time when you could look on Craigslist and see a plethora of job postings under your preferred career. Now I'm lucky if I see two. I have to cover my ass because Summer is coming up and I probably won't have a job. I just overheard on the news that GM, to keep from going bankrupt, is looking at killing off three brands: Pontiac, Saab and Hummer. Huh?! This sort of thing doesn't really pertain to me since I stopped driving a car in 2006. I'm just a really bad driver and I wanted to protect my life (and mostly yours). When I hear things about car brands getting cut because people are running out of money, it just boggles me.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Records I bought but then quickly realized did not rock
Don't get me wrong. I love me some Loverboy. But, much to my chagrin, after having a small inner cow at the thrift store upon discovering this album in the stacks and taking it home to play, I quickly discovered, with the exception of one or two tracks, that this album does not rock and I am now wishing I had my $1.99 back. Turn Me Loose is a great song and really revs my engine, but, the rest of the album is sort of mediocre and after about the third or fourth song, really leaves one feeling flat. All I could think about was all the other records that I could have been playing that would knock my socks off. If that is happening, then sadly, one has made a purchase disaster. Oh well. At least the cover of the record is awesome.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Monday, April 20, 2009
Gem from the past
I start LOLing at 1:45.
I was pleased to discover that Kim Sin Young, the larger Korean girl, became a successful comedian in 2009.
I can't help but laugh at her facial expressions.
Saturday, April 18, 2009
This is the face I make when I am pretending to be a kitty
I have a small love affair with Brooklyn that I still haven't quite been able to get over. I got back from my week long trip about two or so weeks ago and I still dream of pizza wherever I go. I sort of equate Spring Break with the idea that I need to start over somehow. Reset. Clean out. Most other people equate it with getting trashed and being where the sun is always shining. This year, I really needed to purge myself of a few things (some vomit happened, but not related to alcohol, I'll spare you the details) and I can say that I feel a lot better now than before I left. 
I spent time with a person in my life who I needed to be with. Some people are put on this Earth to love you unconditionally and she is one of those people. Its not quite the love that is obvious. Its something different, much more hidden. We don't have the kind of relationship where we need to gaze into each others eyes and say I love you. Oh no. We just have this incredible bond, like sisters, and being an only child, its a bond that I can't get enough of. To make matters AWESOME, our other sister joined us from across the country and I felt like the trio of BEST EVER AMAZING-NESS was completed and my reset button went haywire. In a good way. When I stop to think about all the problems and issues present in my life. I have to shake my head and laugh. I have some of the best friends anyone could ask for. Friends who, despite my faults and awkward moments, love me for who I am and continually remind me why.
Friday, April 17, 2009
This makes sense
No, I'm lying.
Is it really possible to disappoint a lot of people in such a small amount of time?
There is quite a storm coming
Er, I type words on computer
“You cannot subscribe to your own blog"
Wtf is going on
I mean seriously guys
If I could only choke Kevin Federline with my bare hands.
Is it really possible to disappoint a lot of people in such a small amount of time?
There is quite a storm coming
Er, I type words on computer
“You cannot subscribe to your own blog"
Wtf is going on
I mean seriously guys
If I could only choke Kevin Federline with my bare hands.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
The more you try to erase me
My mental health deceives me at times. Am I really thinking outside the normal range of thought, or am I just giving myself a hard time?
I don't know who I am anymore. One minute, I have this specific kind of life where I make specific kinds of choices and have specific kinds of opinions. This all seems to fall apart in the end, as lately, I say one thing and do another.
I'm frustrated as hell. There are so many things I could do with my life that would require me just getting off my ass and doing it. There are things I know I shouldn't be doing, but I do, only because I love that feeling of rebellion.
My life is not as difficult as I make it out to be. Really, I have the same kinds of problems as the next person. Its just a matter of how I'm going to deal with them, and how I'm going to decide to react.
My life is just. That is how I would put it. I'm trying to be "just" in a lot of ways. I don't know how I'm getting from one point to another, I just know I'm doing it and I can't complain about it. I'm doing things just. I'm just, just. I can't figure out where all of this was inside of me, before. I just don't know.
And a lot of things have happened in the last sort of while. Some bad things happened. And I'm not happy about them, but they were... just. A lot of good things happened and I'm the better for it.
Sometimes when I wonder why things keep happening a certain way, or why I'm just not getting it about a particular something, I just make a pact to myself that its "just" and I can handle it for now and maybe later, maybe I'll mind-fuck around with it.
You see, I'm not having it anymore. I'm not going to let myself go under. I'm trying really hard to push on. To make whatever it is that is lousy, better. I'm living half of my life in this dream-state. Where I go "camping" a lot (its random, I'll tell you about that later). Where I go to the Dog Park, wearing the uniform of the depressed: sweatpants and a raincoat.
I'm just not at all sure what I am anymore. The old someone is leaving and the new someone won't stop smiling at me *like that*
Like. That.
I'm not so sure I can handle this with the net that's supporting me. The net is starting to get smaller, but its all enveloping, its warm, its rooted.
Well into the ground.
I don't know who I am anymore. One minute, I have this specific kind of life where I make specific kinds of choices and have specific kinds of opinions. This all seems to fall apart in the end, as lately, I say one thing and do another.
I'm frustrated as hell. There are so many things I could do with my life that would require me just getting off my ass and doing it. There are things I know I shouldn't be doing, but I do, only because I love that feeling of rebellion.
My life is not as difficult as I make it out to be. Really, I have the same kinds of problems as the next person. Its just a matter of how I'm going to deal with them, and how I'm going to decide to react.
My life is just. That is how I would put it. I'm trying to be "just" in a lot of ways. I don't know how I'm getting from one point to another, I just know I'm doing it and I can't complain about it. I'm doing things just. I'm just, just. I can't figure out where all of this was inside of me, before. I just don't know.
And a lot of things have happened in the last sort of while. Some bad things happened. And I'm not happy about them, but they were... just. A lot of good things happened and I'm the better for it.
Sometimes when I wonder why things keep happening a certain way, or why I'm just not getting it about a particular something, I just make a pact to myself that its "just" and I can handle it for now and maybe later, maybe I'll mind-fuck around with it.
You see, I'm not having it anymore. I'm not going to let myself go under. I'm trying really hard to push on. To make whatever it is that is lousy, better. I'm living half of my life in this dream-state. Where I go "camping" a lot (its random, I'll tell you about that later). Where I go to the Dog Park, wearing the uniform of the depressed: sweatpants and a raincoat.
I'm just not at all sure what I am anymore. The old someone is leaving and the new someone won't stop smiling at me *like that*
Like. That.
I'm not so sure I can handle this with the net that's supporting me. The net is starting to get smaller, but its all enveloping, its warm, its rooted.
Well into the ground.
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Hit the bottom and escape
When it comes to music, it has never been quite that easy for me to explain why I like what I like, why certain songs and artists move me. I feel like if I could just telepathically send messages of what I'm seeing in my mind, maybe it would make sense, or even better, be able to convey the emotions that pass through me during a particular moment in a song. Maybe its not that important to try to explain. Maybe its just important that I feel so much.
The other day on the bus as I was watching the traffic pass in a blur, my eyes started to water and that familiar lump started rising in my throat and I knew I wasn't going to be able to hold back my tears. Perhaps I was just tired and stressed from the events of the day and needed something, anything to release all the tension I was feeling. Maybe I had realized in that moment that everything I love and hate about the world, my life, how I yearn to express myself can be summed up in the way a guitar sounds in a song or how the lyrics seem to express exactly what makes my insides fall apart.
The other day on the bus as I was watching the traffic pass in a blur, my eyes started to water and that familiar lump started rising in my throat and I knew I wasn't going to be able to hold back my tears. Perhaps I was just tired and stressed from the events of the day and needed something, anything to release all the tension I was feeling. Maybe I had realized in that moment that everything I love and hate about the world, my life, how I yearn to express myself can be summed up in the way a guitar sounds in a song or how the lyrics seem to express exactly what makes my insides fall apart.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Open letter
Dear Trimet riders of Portland;I will not be silent any longer. I have to get this out before I explode. Can you PLEASE tell me why you find it necessary to stand in the aisle of the bus during rush hour, when there are clearly open seats on the bus? Why is it that when I get on the bus, you insist on standing right in the front near the driver, blocking the way so that I can't actually GET ON THE BUS? Why is it that when the bus is getting close to crowded, you don't move back, and when you are asked to move back, you look all around like a deer caught in headlights and then move two steps!? When someone asks you to move back MOVE TO THE END OF THE BUS! Why is it that when you sit down on the bus you sit on the outside seat so that the inside seat is blocked to anyone else who may want to sit down? Why is it that when I politely say "excuse me please" when trying to navigate towards an open seat in the back that people in aisle are blocking, you give me a dirty look? And can you PLEASE tell me why during a single bus ride, only 2 out of many riders say PLEASE or THANK YOU to to the driver?
Its not like someone just gave you a ride or anything.
Monday, April 13, 2009
I didn't recognize myself in the mirror
Thank God for The Onion. How would I ever get through the day?
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Cuddly bunnies and baby chickens
Here are a few Easters that I can remember:1) 1985, There was an Easter egg hunt with clues. The clues led me to the garden where the finale was a pastel colored kite that blended well with the whole theme. It was magical. I flew the kite so much in the following days (we lived on the coast) that it broke apart. From that day forth, I make it very clear to my Mother that she is never to buy cheap presents for me again. Of course, I don't make the money in the family, so I lose.
2) 1987, Sunday school Easter egg hunt. I was making bank with all the plastic eggs I had gathered. When the hunt was finished and everyone was leaving, I began opening my eggs. One of them had what appeared to me a piece of gum in the shape of E.T. I was so excited I immediately began chewing it. To my horrible surprise, it was not gum. It was an eraser.
3) 1995, Easter dinner at my house. My Mother thought it would be a grand idea to have Easter dinner at our house and invite my Uncle and my Grandmother. Well, both my Mother and Grandmother had a little bit too much to drink and some words were exchanged and my Mother left the table. I was so embarrassed and angry that I just hunched down further into my seat and played with my mashed potatoes. My Grandmother began laughing maniacally and calling my mother names. Then the food fight started. Yes, you heard me. As soon as the stuffing started flying, I crawled from the table and into my room. I shut the door and didn't come out for three hours. Things remained quiet after that. When I came out, my Uncle was watching tv and the ladies were passed out. I cleaned up the entire food mess. I then considered running away from home and still wishing I had that kite.
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Blossoming in the dentists chair
It all started when the hygienist and the dentist began arguing in the middle of my root canal. Awkward I thought. Really? Is this seriously happening right now? At one point, both the hygienist and dentist left in the middle of the procedure to cool off (even though I was told he went to go examine another patient briefly???) and I was left to my own devices with my mouth hanging wide open, covered in my own mouth mess and just wishing for the end to come so I could get my painkiller prescription and escape. The only thing that saved me was the enlarged photograph of cherry blossoms on the ceiling. It was oddly comforting and reminded me of how much I'm looking forward to the coming Spring. Warmth, fresh air, excuse to wear less clothing...I think everything is going to be ok.
I have to get this root canal...
One question I have always wanted to know the answer to is why can’t they put you to sleep for every dental experience? I mean let’s face it going to the dentist always feels like surgery to me. I have to sit in the chair for two hours and I know I'm going to be driven crazy by the sound of that drill. I just hope they give me painkillers at the end. Even though I probably won't need them. At least that would make my Saturday night a lot more interesting.EDIT: They gave me painkillers. Now we're cookin' with gas Roy!
Friday, April 10, 2009
Find me in the air
J and I found her dress for the wedding and also some shoes. I liked her shoes so much that I purchased a pair of my own, in black. They're from one of those trendy shoe stores in the mall that you always pass by thinking its going to close abruptly because nobody ever shops there and all the shoes are displayed on tables in similar styles but different colors and there is too much green and yellow. In fact, I think the name of the store has the word "trend" in it but I can never be sure since I am hardly ever really paying attention. When we picked up the dress, the two young girls behind the counter were giggling and being all young girl-ish and annoying. The dark haired one asked me, "how do you spell your name?" as if she had had a long standing bet with the blonde one. I spelled it for her and they both said "ohhhhh" really loud and long as if they had always been baffled by the mere existence of my name and then both equally came up with their own versions of how they thought my name was spelled. "Its a season" I say, feeling the familiar frustration rise in me that so many people, SO MANY PEOPLE have no idea how to spell "Autumn". Really? Seriously? Its one of the four seasons! You can spell Winter and Summer, even Spring without really second guessing yourself, why is Autumn so difficult? I guess I can see why, what with the silent "n" at the end, but still, basic elementary and secondary educations should have this handled by the time people graduate high school. I just don't get it. We buy the dress as some long overdue pop song is playing and escape. I immediately find mall food that I know can push down the frustration and anger I am feeling over this very small detail and am temporarily satisfied. My past experience has taught me that fake cheese and over salted pretzels generally help in situations such as these.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
This is it
While walking through the huge mall that's not too close to where I live and where I discover has stores that I'm actually interested in going into but don't because I know I'll spend money I have but that's not for fun things, I briefly remember the time I received a snoopy fishing pole for some childhood birthday. I can't recall from memory what made me start thinking about it. Maybe some kiosk in the middle of the mall that I walked past. Maybe an over priced children's clothing store (that just reminded me I should purchase baby clothing in muted tones when that time comes). I just know that when the memory crossed my mind, my stomach started to hurt and I felt depressed and instantly needed a hug to ease my mind.
Monday, April 6, 2009
You weren't bright enough today
I'm a bit sunburned. I expect crankiness from not only me but the rest of Portland when the sun disappears again.
I haven't been feeling well lately. Everything is bothering me. The sun is distracting but not enough.
I want to talk about what's ailing me but I don't even know where to begin.
I need a cure
I haven't been feeling well lately. Everything is bothering me. The sun is distracting but not enough.
I want to talk about what's ailing me but I don't even know where to begin.
I need a cure
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